Child-friendly Israel: Where a Kid can be a Kid!
You know that expression "children are meant to be seen, but not heard".
The antithesis of that describes Israelis' attitudes towards children.
First of all, Israelis have children. "Pru vu" (be fruitful and multiply) is the first commandment in the Torah (which we actually read this week when we start the Torah over again), and Israelis do it pretty well. The birth rate is about 3 kids per woman, and is even higher among Jewish orthodox and Arab subpopulations.
Having children is the norm. It's what you do, so the country is sort of geared towards it. Oh and the maternity policies are WAY better than in the U.S. (of course). It seems with every new construction project comes space for playgrounds and parks. And kids just sort of climb over everything and break all sorts of rules of etiquette. They just get to be kids. Ask my kids what they think of being a kid in Israel. You just do what you want, speak up for yourself, and this can even mean forgetting to be respectful to adults.
When we were in Jerusalem, waiting for the Time Elevator my kids started climbing on some counter thing. I said to them "you know in America, I'd tell you to get down". In Israel, who cares? They climb on walls, fences, you name it.
Truth is, I don't think my kids have ever played as much as they do in Israel. I am not sure what we did in America, but I guarantee the proportion of time my kids spend just playing has been way higher here than it was in the U.S. For example, at the camping trip the other day, the kids integrated themselves rapidly with other kids (especially Sivan who makes friends in about 1 millisecond--you've never seen anything like it). We didn't see them most of that trip.
At some point we discovered that this group of kids of mixed ages had invented themselves a whole obstacle course and were timing each other. You had to jump off some statue thing, run and throw yourself on a beanbag chair, pick up a stick, and throw it into the fire. The record time was about 30 seconds for this course. How exactly this happened, I'm not sure, but without adult intervention, this group of elementary schoolers had organized this event and were timing and running with each other cheering each other on for at least 40 minutes.
Leadership starts young!
Remember I wondered what made this society so creative? I think part of it comes down to all the time they simply interact and play. Even if there's no playground (there is none at my kids's school), they are inventing games and improvising. By the way, my other theory about why Israeli society is so creative comes from the amount Israelis travel. Israelis (like me) have wanderlust. They want to see the world, experience it, and travel (not just vacation). They have gone to all parts, and often spend a year after the army traveling. So I think when you see how different cultures do things, it gives you many ideas and spawns new creative ideas.
Now, let's talk about safety. There are different perceptions of risk here. For example, do you think two year olds throwing sticks at a fire is a good thing? Especially when you have kids all around this fire? How about kids around a fire unsupervised?
I think not.
But the native Israelis are teaching their kids how to throw the stick properly. :)
Did any parent worry about injuries during this obstacle course racing? Yes--Adam and me!
Riding down a street without a helmet on a bike? Very common, although some parents are insistent on helmets.
BUT, crossing streets? A lot of care.
I think that maybe part of it (with the exception of the helmet when biking thing) makes sense. Crossing a street incorrectly can kill you. Climbing a statue or running and tripping? Not really. Just an orthopedic visit.
Having seen Sivan have serious injuries doing absolutely nothing (stretching the wrong way and tripping over a gymnastics mat), I have definitely moved into the camp of realizing you never know how they'll get hurt, so might as well give them some freedom unless it's a life/death thing.
And being here, Adam and I have learned to just let go a lot. This weekend, I told Adam that we'll probably have CPS called on us if our parenting continues to become more and more Israeli.
Did I mention Matan insists on walking home from school by himself? And is so proud of himself for it.
The attitude is just very positive regarding children.
For example, I took my son to the shuk the other day, and handed him the money and had him pay for some veggies. Of course, he doesn't understand much Hebrew so Matan was clueless when the guy answered him. But the guy loved Matan.
Then later, we sat at a table to grab a felafel and ice cream. This felafel place, I learned, is over 60 years old. And the people I was sitting with have been living in Rehovot for that long. So this grandfather sees me trying to wipe Matan's chocolately mouth with a napkin. Kindly, but insistently, he says to me "wet it" and then next thing I know, he is wetting a napkin for me to wipe Matan's face. Those are Israelis for you. Grandpa tells a stranger mom how to wipe her kid's face. But I like it. I like that they care. Better than indifference!
The other thing Adam and I noticed is that men are very involved with their kids here. The guys do not take a backseat and drink beer. They are holding their babies, running after their toddlers, are just as likely to drive the kids etc. We especially noticed at the camping night how interactive the men were with the kids. As we looked around, the dads were just as likely as the women to be changing diapers, holding kids, cooking, etc. The dads were spending an hour setting up a zipline for the kids to do, were helping the kids bake the pitas, and set up a tightrope. Adam was worried this camping thing was going to be a bunch of guys and not be kid friendly. Boy was he wrong!
In short, I am not sure there is a better place to be a child than Israel (assuming you speak the language, of course!).
The antithesis of that describes Israelis' attitudes towards children.
First of all, Israelis have children. "Pru vu" (be fruitful and multiply) is the first commandment in the Torah (which we actually read this week when we start the Torah over again), and Israelis do it pretty well. The birth rate is about 3 kids per woman, and is even higher among Jewish orthodox and Arab subpopulations.
Having children is the norm. It's what you do, so the country is sort of geared towards it. Oh and the maternity policies are WAY better than in the U.S. (of course). It seems with every new construction project comes space for playgrounds and parks. And kids just sort of climb over everything and break all sorts of rules of etiquette. They just get to be kids. Ask my kids what they think of being a kid in Israel. You just do what you want, speak up for yourself, and this can even mean forgetting to be respectful to adults.
When we were in Jerusalem, waiting for the Time Elevator my kids started climbing on some counter thing. I said to them "you know in America, I'd tell you to get down". In Israel, who cares? They climb on walls, fences, you name it.
Truth is, I don't think my kids have ever played as much as they do in Israel. I am not sure what we did in America, but I guarantee the proportion of time my kids spend just playing has been way higher here than it was in the U.S. For example, at the camping trip the other day, the kids integrated themselves rapidly with other kids (especially Sivan who makes friends in about 1 millisecond--you've never seen anything like it). We didn't see them most of that trip.
At some point we discovered that this group of kids of mixed ages had invented themselves a whole obstacle course and were timing each other. You had to jump off some statue thing, run and throw yourself on a beanbag chair, pick up a stick, and throw it into the fire. The record time was about 30 seconds for this course. How exactly this happened, I'm not sure, but without adult intervention, this group of elementary schoolers had organized this event and were timing and running with each other cheering each other on for at least 40 minutes.
Leadership starts young!
Remember I wondered what made this society so creative? I think part of it comes down to all the time they simply interact and play. Even if there's no playground (there is none at my kids's school), they are inventing games and improvising. By the way, my other theory about why Israeli society is so creative comes from the amount Israelis travel. Israelis (like me) have wanderlust. They want to see the world, experience it, and travel (not just vacation). They have gone to all parts, and often spend a year after the army traveling. So I think when you see how different cultures do things, it gives you many ideas and spawns new creative ideas.
Now, let's talk about safety. There are different perceptions of risk here. For example, do you think two year olds throwing sticks at a fire is a good thing? Especially when you have kids all around this fire? How about kids around a fire unsupervised?
I think not.
But the native Israelis are teaching their kids how to throw the stick properly. :)
Did any parent worry about injuries during this obstacle course racing? Yes--Adam and me!
Riding down a street without a helmet on a bike? Very common, although some parents are insistent on helmets.
BUT, crossing streets? A lot of care.
I think that maybe part of it (with the exception of the helmet when biking thing) makes sense. Crossing a street incorrectly can kill you. Climbing a statue or running and tripping? Not really. Just an orthopedic visit.
Having seen Sivan have serious injuries doing absolutely nothing (stretching the wrong way and tripping over a gymnastics mat), I have definitely moved into the camp of realizing you never know how they'll get hurt, so might as well give them some freedom unless it's a life/death thing.
And being here, Adam and I have learned to just let go a lot. This weekend, I told Adam that we'll probably have CPS called on us if our parenting continues to become more and more Israeli.
Did I mention Matan insists on walking home from school by himself? And is so proud of himself for it.
The attitude is just very positive regarding children.
For example, I took my son to the shuk the other day, and handed him the money and had him pay for some veggies. Of course, he doesn't understand much Hebrew so Matan was clueless when the guy answered him. But the guy loved Matan.
Then later, we sat at a table to grab a felafel and ice cream. This felafel place, I learned, is over 60 years old. And the people I was sitting with have been living in Rehovot for that long. So this grandfather sees me trying to wipe Matan's chocolately mouth with a napkin. Kindly, but insistently, he says to me "wet it" and then next thing I know, he is wetting a napkin for me to wipe Matan's face. Those are Israelis for you. Grandpa tells a stranger mom how to wipe her kid's face. But I like it. I like that they care. Better than indifference!
The other thing Adam and I noticed is that men are very involved with their kids here. The guys do not take a backseat and drink beer. They are holding their babies, running after their toddlers, are just as likely to drive the kids etc. We especially noticed at the camping night how interactive the men were with the kids. As we looked around, the dads were just as likely as the women to be changing diapers, holding kids, cooking, etc. The dads were spending an hour setting up a zipline for the kids to do, were helping the kids bake the pitas, and set up a tightrope. Adam was worried this camping thing was going to be a bunch of guys and not be kid friendly. Boy was he wrong!
In short, I am not sure there is a better place to be a child than Israel (assuming you speak the language, of course!).
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