Deep Thoughts from a Mom of Two Now...

By Dr. Yasmine Kalkstein

Sivan, nearly asleep, just mumbled how she doesn't like the smell of rotten milk. That is what I smell like 80% of the time. The other 19% I think I smell like spit-up, and then a glorious 1% of the time (when I'm actually IN the shower), I think I smell great.

As a two-time mother now, I have some deep thoughts...

1) Everything should be drive-thru. Really, I headed a mile away to burger king (yuck), just because I wanted to pick up something that didn't require me unstrapping and restrapping two kids into carseats, and possibly, the dreaded part--carrying the ridiculously heavy infant carrier. No, we are just driving through. What we really need is more drive-thrus!. Drive through pharmacy, drive through supermarket, hell, even drive through camp pick-up and drop-off!

2) Suddenly I want a bigger car. Bigger is better. After all, I can barely change a diaper in the trunk with the stroller in the trunk too.

3) You should not cut off a finger (Granted I did not actually cut mine off, just really cut it deep and severed a nerve and now have to go to physical therapy. Don't leave an immersion blender plugged in while removing stuff from the blade with your finger!). You need every working finger or life will be more challenging. How else can you style your daughter's precious hair while breastfeeding?

4) My standard of what a "good sleeper" as a baby is different now. A good sleeper now means "better than my 3 year old daughter". So yes, Matan sleeps more than Sivan. With my first, a good sleeper probably meant to me that they just don't bother you until 9 am. Huh, I wonder if I'll ever sleep until 9 am again...

5) I really think environment shapes gender. I swear that Adam talks to Matan differently than he did Sivan. "What's up buddy? What's your problem?" vs "my precious angel..." He contends it's not the sex, it's the birth order. Then you look at the clothing. Baseballs and footballs vs. flowers and butterflys. And the things people say (e.g. he's going to be a baseball player!"). I mean, already so many gender-role expectations are placed on the kid!

6) I am once again aware of the lack of handicap entrances. Stairs and strollers don't go well together.

7) The "because I said so" explanations become more common now with Sivan. I don't have the time to explain why she can't wear her princess sandals when I'm dealing with another baby. This is frustrating for Sivan. I feel bad about this.

8) Sleep when the baby sleeps. Yeah right.9) I had this romantic vision of nursing one baby while reading to my three year old. It's not so easy. If I were Sivan, I would be so frustrated that I'm constantly nursing. She handles it amazingly well. I'm so proud of her.

10) Trying to keep my second one from getting smushed and suffocated is something I never had to think about with my first. She loves him and it's just...overwhelming for her. Today she picked him up. I said, new rule! You cannot pick him up until you are four. Four? What was I thinking? Oh well, I'll cross that bridge in December.

11) It's amazing how the spitup rarely ends up on the diaper cloth when I have it. It's like...a repellent or something.

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